The Role of Fathers

Since Father's Day is coming up I thought it would be appropriate to talk for a moment about the relation of the father to his family. It is clear that the father has a special role in the family that no one else can fill. The sexes are designed by God to be complementary in the nurturing of the family unit, and the absence of either parent from the lives of their children can have unforeseen consequences. As a result I believe that much of the instability in Western society is due to fathers' lack of involvement in their children's lives.

The family unit of a father, mother, and their children is itself an imperfect reflection of the complete communion between the members of the Trinity. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit all exist in perfect harmony with each other, and the immeasurable degree of love between the members of the Trinity is a model that families should look to for guidance.

This ideal of the Trinity as a model for family relationship leads to a understanding of the family in a sacramental sense. There is a spiritual relationship between the members of the family that works in conjunction with the more tangible aspects of the relationship. What we say or do in the material world can have indelible effects on the spiritual aspects of our relationships with each other and with God. Fathers must be coworkers with the other members of their family to maintain a healthy balance in order to protect this relationship.

If you have a sacramental view of family it is clear that being a father is the most important responsibility that a man can have. Fathers (along with mothers) are responsible for much more than just meeting the physical needs of our children. The emotional and spiritual needs of children must be met as well, and God in His mercy has given each parent particular gifts to meet these needs. These gifts are largely being ignored as our society is quickly losing sight of the fact that there is more to fatherhood than meeting physical needs. Much of that is due to a reduced sense of parental responsibility and a lack of respect for children in general. Children are often regarded as nuisances or as just another check box in a long list of 'adult' responsibilities, and that is a real tragedy. What is needed for modern fathers is a sense of earnestness in our responsibility to our children.

Being a good parent is an integral part of following Christ. When we set aside our own needs and desires in service of our children we are learning what it means to be a disciple. I will be the first to confess that this is not an easy task and I often fail in this regard. If we keep trying we will see that the road of discipleship particularly in regards to our families has rewards beyond measure. The love and happiness of our children is worth infinitely more than any material comforts.

I do not know where I would be today without my wife and children. I can honestly say that being a husband and father has been an experience beyond compare. My wife and children have taught me the true meaning of redemptive grace and have restored my faith in the Church. This Father's Day I choose to celebrate them and I pray that I never stop trying to reach the ideal of what a father should be.